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Warm
Fuzzies & Cold Pricklies
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A Warm Fuzzy Tale
by Claude M. Steiner
Once upon a time, a long time ago,
there lived two happy people called Tim and Maggie with their
two children, John and Lucy. To understand how happy they were
you have to understand how things were in those days.
You see in those happy days everyone
was given a small, soft Fuzzy Bag when born. Any time a person
reached into this bag they were able to pull out a Warm Fuzzy.
Warm Fuzzies were very much in demand because whenever someone
was given a Warm Fuzzy it made them feel warm and fuzzy all over.
In those days it was very easy to
get Warm Fuzzies. Anytime that somebody felt like it, he might
walk up to you and say, "I'd like to have a Warm Fuzzy." You would
then reach into your bag and pull out a Fuzzy the size of a child’s
hand. As soon as the Fuzzy saw the light of day it would smile
and blossom into a large, shaggy, Warm Fuzzy. When you laid the
Warm Fuzzy on the person's head, shoulder or lap it would snuggle
up and melt right against their skin and make them feel good all
over.
People were always asking each other
for Warm Fuzzies, and since they were always given freely, getting
enough of them was never a problem. There were always plenty to
go around, and so everyone was happy and felt warm and fuzzy most
of the time.
One day a bad witch who made salves
and potions for sick people became angry because everyone was
so happy and feeling good and no one was buying potions and salves.
The witch was very clever and devised a very wicked plan. One
beautiful morning while Maggie was playing with her daughter the
witch crept up to Tim and whispered in his ear,
"See here, Tim, look at all the
Fuzzies that Maggie is giving to Lucy. You know, if she keeps
it up she is going to run out and then there won't be any left
for you!"
Tim was astonished. He turned to
the witch and asked, "Do you mean to tell me that there isn't
a Warm Fuzzy in our bag every time we reach into it?".
And the witch answered, "No, absolutely
not, and once you run out, that's it. You don't have any more."
With this the witch flew away on a broom, laughing and cackling
all the way.
Tim took this to heart and began
to notice every time Maggie gave away a Warm Fuzzy. He got very
worried because he liked Maggie's Warm Fuzzies very much and did
not want to give them up. He certainly did not think it was right
for Maggie to be spending all her Warm Fuzzies on the children
and other people.
Tim began to complain or sulk when
he saw Maggie giving Warm Fuzzies to somebody else, and because
Maggie loved him very much, she stopped giving Warm Fuzzies to
other people as often, and reserved most of them for him.
The children watched this and soon
began to get the idea that it was wrong to give Warm Fuzzies any
time you were asked or felt like it. They too became very careful.
They would watch their parents closely and whenever they felt
that one of their parents was giving too many Fuzzies to others,
they felt jealous and complained and sometimes even had a tantrum.
And even though they found a Warm Fuzzy every time they reached
into their bag they began to feel guilty whenever they gave them
away so they reached in less and less and became more and more
stingy with them.
Before the witch, people used to
gather in groups of three, four or five, never caring too much
who was giving Warm Fuzzies to whom. After the coming of the witch,
people began to pair off and to reserve all their Warm Fuzzies
for each other, exclusively. When people forgot to be careful
and gave a Warm Fuzzy to just anybody they worried because they
knew that somebody would probably resent sharing their Warm Fuzzies.
People began to give less and less
Warm Fuzzies, and felt less warm and less fuzzy. They began to
shrivel up and, occasionally, people would even die from lack
of Warm Fuzzies. People felt worse and worse and, more and more,
people went to the witch to buy potions and salves even though
they didn't really seem to work.
Well, the situation was getting
very serious indeed. The bad witch who had been watching all of
this didn't really want the people to die (since dead people couldn't
buy his salves and potions), so a new plan was devised.
Everyone was given, free of charge,
a bag that was very similar to the Fuzzy Bag except that this
one was cold while the Fuzzy Bag was warm. Inside of the witch's
bag were Cold Pricklies. These Cold Pricklies did not make people
feel warm and fuzzy; in fact they made them feel cold and prickly
instead. But the Cold Pricklies were better than nothing and they
did prevent peoples' backs from shriveling up.
So, from then on, when somebody
asked for a Warm Fuzzy, people who were worried about depleting
their supply would say, "I can't give you a Warm Fuzzy, but would
you like a Cold Prickly instead?"
Sometimes, two people would walk
up to each other, thinking they maybe they could get a Warm Fuzzy
this time, but one of them would change his mind and they would
wind up giving each other Cold Pricklies instead. So, the end
result was that people were not dying anymore but a lot of people
were very unhappy and feeling very cold and prickly indeed.
The situation got very complicated
since the coming of the witch because there were fewer and fewer
Warm Fuzzies around and Warm Fuzzies which used to be free as
air, became extremely valuable.
This caused people to do all sorts
of things in order to get Warm Fuzzies. People who could not find
a generous partner had to buy their Warm Fuzzies and had to work
long hours to earn the money.
Some people became "popular" and
got a lot of Warm Fuzzies without having to give any back. These
people would then sell their Warm Fuzzies to people who were "unpopular"
and needed them to feel that life was worth living.
Another thing which happened was
that some people would take Cold Pricklies--which were everywhere
and freely available-and coated them white and fluffy so that
they almost looked like Warm Fuzzies. These fake Warm Fuzzies
were really Plastic Fuzzies, and they caused additional problems.
For instance, two or more people
would get together and freely give each other Plastic Fuzzies.
They expected to feel good, but they came away feeling bad instead.
People got very confused never realizing that their cold, prickly
feelings were because they had been given a lot of Plastic Fuzzies.
So the situation was very, very
dismal and it all started because of the coming of the witch who
made people believe that some day, when least expected, they might
reach into their Warm Fuzzy Bag and find no more.
Not long ago, a young woman with
big hips came to this unhappy land. She seemed not to have heard
about the bad witch and was not worried about running out of Warm
Fuzzies. She gave them out freely, even when not asked. They called
her the Hip Woman and disapproved of her because she was giving
the children the idea that they should not worry about running
out of Warm Fuzzies. The children liked her very much because
they felt good around her and they began to follow her example
giving out Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it.
This made the grownups very worried.
To protect the children from depleting their supplies of Warm
Fuzzies they passed a law. The law made it a criminal offense
to give out Warm Fuzzies in a reckless manner or without a license.
Many children, however, seemed not to care; and in spite of the
law they continued to give each other Warm Fuzzies whenever they
felt like it and always when asked. Because they were many, many
children, almost as many as grown ups, it began to look as if
maybe they would have their way.
As of now its hard to say what will
happen. Will the grownups laws stop the recklessness of the children?
Are the grownups going to join with
the Hip Woman and the children in taking a chance that there will
always be as many Warm Fuzzies as needed?
Will they remember the days their
children are trying to bring back when Warm Fuzzies were abundant
because people gave them away freely ?
The struggle spread all over the
land and is probably going on right were you live. If you want
to, and I hope you do, you can join by freely giving and asking
for Warm Fuzzies and being as loving and healthy as you can.
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